I'm ashamed to say it, but most of the time I really don't bother watching or reading the news. I'm sure on some level, it's because I don't want to hear about all of the chaos that surrounds us. Maybe it's a defense mechanism. Or maybe, I'm just too self centered and worried about my own little world. I'm so caught up in my own problems to consider those of real magnitude. Such was the case this morning as I scrolled through the Yahoo home page. I saw the leading story about Haiti and their earthquake, but purposefully didn't bother to read about the details. I went on to read about the Texas Longhorn QB who proposed to his girlfriend; then I found my way on to read about Sarah Palin's new gig with Fox. Yet in the back of my mind, I knew that the Haiti earthquake headline awaited me; I just didn't want to know the details.
It seemed at first glance that yet another earthquake had hit yet another impoverished country and that thousands were feared dead. Yet as long as I stay away from the details, it's just another sad chapter in history. The quake happened in a land far removed from my world and as long as I steered clear of the details, particularly the imagery, I could move on with my day. But I didn't...I clicked on the link, watched the news videos, examined the images...and here I sit, humbled and embarrassed and ashamed of my skewed version of hardship.
Last night, I tucked my boys into a warm bed knowing that they had food in the stomachs and a pantry full of food waiting for them in the morning. They would wake up to clean clothes, shoes for their feet and jackets to wear for their warmth. They would board a bus to spend a day learning how to read, write, analyze and problem solve. They will return safely home in about an hour to entertain themselves with activities which will include video games, computers, tv, books, ipods, sporting equipment, bikes, the list goes on and on. They will fill their bellies tonight with nutritional food that they will most certainly complain about. They will ask for dessert...and probably get some. They will bath with hot water, put on clean pajamas, brush their bi-annually inspected teeth, and climb back into a warm bed. They will fall asleep after prayer time and a little "shhh...mom's coming" goofing off. Yet, I still find things to fret over.
Why does it take a death of a loved one or a major catastrophe to put things into perspective. And how quickly we will return to business as usual once the proverbial dust settles.
I'm ashamed that I don't invest myself more into the concerns and hardships of others. I used to. I don't know why I don't as much anymore. Maybe at some point, the emotional drain of caring so much left me exhausted. And that thought leads me further into a deep reverence of God who never tires of being concerned over our welfare and hearts. How His heart must bleed for us. Now, in the wake of this devestation, what will His people do? What will I do? Most certainly, I will pray. But beyond that...will I go make a donation to the Red Cross? Will I do nothing more that toss this over and over in my mind and continue to pray? Or will I hold on to this moment and use it as a perspective reference? I suppose the right thing to do is to continue to pray and listen for God's prompting...and then act on it. Lord, soften my heart and speak to me. Give me the strength to follow through with what You ask of me. And Lord, please...please...comfort the people of Haiti.
