I Know What Fire Tastes Like

I spent this last week in Orlando, FL for a Christian Retailers trade show. I was there to help promote get the WORD out clothing co. with my dear friends and company owners, Robb & Marie Jackson. It is ALWAYS a blast whenever we get together. We all have the same sense of humor, the same deep rooted faith and the same desires to see get the WORD out become everything that we believe it was meant to be.

The first opportunity that allowed us an evening of casual/no obligations dining was Wednesday night. Having previously been there, I recommended that we dine at Tijuana Flats, a local fast/casual restaurant whose claim to fame is their "hot bar".

The "hot bar" consists of about 12 different hot sauces varying in flavor and intensity. On the milder side, you will find "Sissy Sauces" including my personal favorite, "Slap My SWEET Ass And Call Me Sally Sweet". It is the perfect blend of spice and sweetness. It's yummy!

On the extreme opposite are "Death Wish Sauces". I've never ventured to that side of the hot bar, knowing full well that the intensity would be a little over the top for my comfort level.

Somehow in the middle of dinner, my brother in law, Justin, brought over the hottest sauce available. Looking back, I may have mentioned that "hot" doesn't bother me so much as "onion-ish" flavoring. And I may have inadvertently let the words, "Sure, I'll try it," pass through my lips.

As I grabbed a chip and began to thoroughly dip it in the sauce, I noticed that Marie also grabbed a chip and dipped it in the sauce as well. She didn't quite get the same amount on her chip as I did, but the fact that she was traveling down this road of stupidity with me says a lot about her character and loyalty. My sista wasn't going to let me do this alone. So we counted down and on "one", popped our sauce covered chips into our mouths.

Now, you'd think that common sense would have some sort of bearing in my life. I'd like to think that I'm somewhat intelligent. For Pete's sake, I use to write in programming code; I'm not an idiot... on most days, that is. On this particular day, all common sense and intelligence not only left my brain, but also wiped their fingerprints on the way out. You see, I figured that if I was going to truly experience this "Death Wish" sauce, I would need to roll the contents around in my mouth so as to insure complete coverage of the roof, cheeks and tongue before swallowing. So, that is just what I did.

The initial wave of intensity wasn't so bad. It was hot, spicy and intense...but tolerable. And just as I opened my mouth to say so, it hit me. Passing air through my mouth...the simple act of breathing intensified the sauce to an indescribable level. Ten seconds in, the insides of my mouth literally feel like they are ON FIRE. Beads of sweat formed not only on my upper lip and forehead, but also on my scalp. A white fog seemed to have settled around my eyes...could it be the smoke coming from my mouth? And as if they were in a tunnel, I hear Robb, Justin and Jessica laughing hysterically at both Marie and I. At this point, I look over to Marie only to see her sticking her tongue into a cup of ice water. Great idea!! I grab a cup myself and as I lower my head downward, streams of snot come gushing out of my nose.

Once I manage to mop up that lovely mess, I begin to alternate between dipping my tongue and lips into the cup of ice water and wiping the insides of my mouth with napkins. I could give a flying fart about how I look to others in the restaurant and the scene that we are making. The pain is FOR REAL. Unfortunately, neither the napkins nor ice water really help to alleviate the pain. It would seem that time would be the only antidote.

Justin coaches us through the traumatic event with giggles all the while. "Stay with it...enjoy the endorphin rush...stay with it." I'm thinking that I will strangle him when this is all said and done.

Within 5 minutes, I believe we were both able to regain our composure. The pain had subsided enough to allow us to act in a manner which wouldn't warrant a call to the psych ward.

I don't regret the experience. And the fact that Marie stepped up alongside made it even more of an experience. Hey, we bonded in a way that few will ever understand. Never mind the fact that the bonding occurred over a sauce in the same "Death Wish" category as "Ass Reaper" and "Colon Blow".

Ah...good times....good times, indeed.

I'm back

I can't tell you how good I feel right now. I've been traveling for the last three weeks and am finally back at home. My first day back, I slept until 4:00 pm, if that is any indication of how exhausted I was. But now I feel recharged. I've had a couple of days to recoup and am getting back into the everyday life tasks around here. One of which includes my blogging. So, allow me to rejoin you. Right now, I am sitting on my overstuffed couch and tapping away at the keys on my laptop while I sip on my 2nd concoction of Starbucks Liqueur and 2%. And just to top off this nice atmosphere, let me tell you that Prince's new joints are currently tickling my eardrums (not his best work). Even so, I tell you; life is good right about now.

When I last posted here on my blog, I was off to Cincinnati to help some friends do a show. To make a long story short, one show turned into two which turned into an added trip to Phoenix to help out with reprinting most of their gear. Anyway, the second show was on the outskirts of Minneapolis, so you know I was on the verge of a major orgasm the whole time. For those of you who don't know, Prince lives in a small town outside of Minneapolis. Yeah, when we drove through his hometown, it took every ounce of self restriction to not drive straight to Paisley Park and plant myself there until my little obsession showed up. Had the family not been with me, I'm sure I would have at least driven by to take some pictures. Next year, for sure!

Anyway, I'm glad to be back home...but am a bit bummed that my work with them (GTWO) is over for now. My friends, the Jacksons, who I do all these shows with...they are good people. We share the same sense of humor, values and interests. They are just fun people to hang with and every time we get together, it's a blast. No matter if we're just hanging out to have some fun or if we're busting our tails working...it's all good. Needless to say, I wish that we could get together more often.

While I was away during these three weeks, my youngest son Keegan turned two. I honestly can't believe that he's two already. It just seems like yesterday when I was holding him in my arms in amazement that we had a 3rd boy. And while I enjoyed hanging out with my friends during these last three weeks, I honestly think the best part about being away was the fact that during one of those weeks, I slept with Keegan in my bed every night. Normally, he puts himself to sleep in his crib. But while we were in Phoenix, I laid down with him every night until he dozed off to sleep.

I don't know exactly how to explain the feelings that I got as I watched him fall asleep. He would inevitably fight it with all his strength until his eyes could no longer stay open. They would close and then re-open once he realized that they were closed....then they would close again for a longer lapse of time. Then followed the body twitches and his eyes would again re-open. Usually, the whole time he was falling asleep, he would say, "Mommy.......what doin?" And in time, that question would cease and he would slip off into his night's slumber.

I don't know...I think most parents who watch their children fall off to sleep know what I'm talking about. It's just a beautiful sight to see....not because you are exhausted or wanting them to get their much needed rest. There is just something about watching your child sleep that reaches inside of you and calls for your attention to their innocence and your responsibility as their parent. And I guess it's been a while since I've seen Keegan fall asleep like that. Now that he's two, I know that the opportunities to watch him doze off are getting fewer and fewer, which is why it really was the highlight of my time away. But that shouldn't be of any surprise. My boys are usually the highlight of my days whether I'm here at home or traveling across the country.

I am glad to be back home though. It feels good to sleep in my own bed once again.