I Suck

So, one of my very best friend's birthday was July 17th...and I have yet to call or even send a belated birthday card. Man, I suck. And I can't shake the guilt that I feel for letting her birthday pass without even a phone call just to wish her well. As if that weren't bad enough, I have missed two of her three kid's birthdays as well. Man, I suck. What sort of friend does that? I don't know what my problem is....whether it be the travels that have kept me busy this summer or the house not selling that has kept me in a foul mood...or whatever. I just keep kicking myself for being such a crappy friend and letting longer lapses of time pass before I talk to her.

It's funny, we've been friends since right around the 8th grade. And our friendship has gone through many changes. We've shared broken hearts, marriages, births and deaths together. And even though I haven't physically seen her in a couple of years, I know that if I ever needed something, she would be there for me. I have always counted it a blessing to know that I have a small handful of friends that I can count on no matter what. And she is at the top of that list. However, I don't feel like I could say the same thing about myself regarding her needs...and I guess that's what really bothers me. I've always prided myself on being loyal and true. And it just seems like this last year, we have talked less and less....and that really scares me cause I love her like a sister. She is one of the nicest, purest-hearted people that I know. Many times, I have aspired to take on many of her characteristics because I do so admire her. And the thought of where our friendship could end up if I continue to be such a slacker...well, it scares me.

Anyway, I'm just sitting her feeling pretty bad about missing her birthday cause I guess it's forces me to face the fact that I haven't been so great at keeping in touch. I've already emailed her tonight to see how pissed off she is....and I'm sure I'll muster up the courage to call her this weekend. But in the meantime, I'm feeling pretty guilty about letting this much time go by without calling her to let her know how much she really does mean to me.