Stuck in a funk

I've been in a funk for the last month and can't seem to snap out of it. I can't pinpoint one exact reason for the foul mood. I know that the house still not selling is a major stress point in my life. That combined with the fact that I am extremely home sick are probably the major contributing factors. Anyway, I'm tired of being in this funk and wish that I would just snap out of it.

Our house in Reno is still on the market and we still have the same potential buyers on the line. Apparently they are very interested in submitting an offer, but can't do so until another offer that they submitted on a foreclosure gets cancelled by the bank holding the note. All the while, we wait on pins and needles wondering if these are the people who will actually purchase it.

I don't know how much longer we can ride this out. Kenny, on average, is working 60-70 hours a week. The ripple effect is that by the end of his day, he is exhausted and I am at the end of my rope from handling the boys and the house. He comes home and tries to help out...he's such a good husband and father. And I repay him by either withdrawing emotionally from him or by lashing out over piddly items that aren't worth bickering over in the grand scheme of things.

Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fullfilled is the tree of lfe." Right now, I can completely embrace this truth as absolute. My heart is sick...very very sick. Hope for us has been deferred for over a year now. And I feel like everything hinges on the selling of our house.

I don't really go out and make attempts to foster new friendships. That fact alone has been poison for my attitude. For my sanity's sake, I need the fellowship of friends. However, I have no desire to make new ones here. I feel myself holding back....almost in fear of cheating on my friends in Reno. I think somewhere deep down, I feel as though if I make new friends here in Texas, I will be lessening the value of their friendships. Ironically, one of my best friends (I have four: Raquel, Cyndi, Kristen and Erin) sent me a beautiful and uplifting card telling me how much she longs to hear that I have made new friends. That thought alone brings tears to my eyes....she is so selfless.

I guess the bottom line is that I'm lonely here and have been throwing my own little pity party. When I take a step back and look at what God has blessed us with here in Texas, I just want to kick myself for complaining......We are sitting at the cusp of having the opportunity to buy a home close to outright. The schools that my children will and are attending are top notch. I now have family in the same city...something that I have desperately wanted for years. Kenny has a great job with fantastic benefits. I have the opportunity to open my own photography business. This area is culturally rich. We still fly for free and can always go back home to visit our friends. There are so many blessings sitting in my lap.....so why am I so miserable? Someone, please slap me!