Happy Birthday To Me

Yesterday, I celebrated my 29th birthday for the 7th time. I don't know why I just said that. I really don't have issues with my age. Let me start again...Yesterday, I celebrated my 35th birthday. Seeing that I promised to be transparent in this blog, let me just say, IT SUCKED! Not because I turned 35....like I said, I don't have issues with my age. It sucked because my husband, who has known me for 13 years, STILL doesn't know that when I say I don't want a gift, I don't mean it!!!

As you can guess, I didn't receive anything from him for my birthday. And I guess I am at fault, at least partly. I tell him every year that I don't want anything. And when the words leave my mouth, I really do mean them. I'm not trying to trick him or set him up for failure. However, when my birthday rolls around and "nothing" is exactly what I get from him....I GET PISSED!!! And you would think that after 13 years with the man, he would have caught on to my pattern. BUT NOOOOOO. So instead of blogging yesterday on how wonderful it was to celebrate another year on this earth, I pouted like a 4 year old. I'm not above poutting....and I can admit it.

It wasn't like I didn't give him plenty of ideas. I've been asking for a pressure washer for a couple of months now. I've show interest in golf clubs. I have mentioned that a carpet cleaner would be a helpful tool in keeping the house looking nice. I even let him know that I needed some work out clothes since I'm hitting the gym again. Nevermind the fact that we can't afford much of anything because the house in Reno is still for sale which means we're forking out an additional $1550 a month that we never know from where it will come. And yes, he is completely right in pointing that fact out and telling me that he holds off on gifts because he knows that I'm stressed about the house. But that didn't make me feel any better. I was acting like a four year old...I knew it...and I was not going to let up. I wanted a stinking gift to open on my birthday. Waa...

I don't know why I get this way. I really don't care about the actual gift. I think I just want to know that he is paying attention to the things that I tell him. Producing a gift proves that he has been paying attention. I guess I'd be fine with a note from him detailing out everything that he wanted to do, but didn't because of the house. At least I would know that he had something planned. And he did say exactly that. He had plans, but didn't execute them because of the financial strain we're under. My first thought was, "Bullsh*t....if it were a baseball game, we'd have tickets in hand." But I didn't say that. And I'm sure that I'll get the cold shoulder once he reads this...but hey, I promised to be transparent and I'm writting from the heart.

Ok, enough about how disappointed/hurt/angry I was yesterday. After I took a nice long nap, I spent the rest of my day with the boys and that was fun. We really didn't do much. Just hung out and spent time together. In the evening, we headed out to the front yard to play a little catch. However, that didn't last too long before ANOTHER rainstorm hit us. But instead of going inside, the boys asked if they could play in the rain. My kneejerk reaction was to say no, but then I thought, "Why not?" So play in the rain they did. They had a blast too, as I'm sure you can see from the pictures. It wasn't until Keegan slipped twice on some sort of gooey slippery fungus thing in the gutter did the fun stop. After that incident, we headed inside and dried off.

I capped off the evening by watching a bad movie (Stomp the Yard) while sipping on a nice mixture of iced Starbucks liquer and milk. I guess it made the movie a little more tolerable. After that, I turned in and read for a while. The boys decided that they "needed" to sleep with me, so I let them. And I guess all in all, they are the best gifts that I could ever receive. They give me life and inspire me to be a better person. Yeah, they are definitely the best gifts ever....although a pressure washer would have been nice.

Dialogues with Dallas

Last night as we were saying night time prayers (it's been a while for the boys), Dallas mustered up the courage to say his prayers out loud. I didn't think he would do it. Night time prayers usually consist of me praying over them. But I'm trying to encourage that personal relationship, so I nudged him. He claimed that he didn't know what to say and I told him to just talk to God like he was talking to a friend. That seemed to work for him, so he began to speak from his heart. I would like to believe that God was most pleased to hear his unjaded words. They were so precious to this mother, I bolted to the laptop to type in what he said just after "Amen" came out of his mouth.

Dear Heavenwee Father,

Fank you for this nice pwanet that you made for we can wive on.
Fank you for the woof over our head.
Fank you for the food we get to eat.
Amen.
Oh yeah, one more thing...fank you that I get to watch Sponge Bob every day.

Dallas really does have the cutest things to say quite often. Especially during prayer time. On another occasion when it was his time to bless the food, his prayer went exactly like this....

Dear God...fank you for this food......except for these yucky vegetables. Amen.

I guess this is a prime example of why I started blogging. It's moments like these that I never want to forget. I find myself so often half-listening to what he is saying. Other tasks scream for my attention while the truly important ones whisper. He is definitely a whisperer. He is my gentle soul...my court jester and my quiet thinker. I love watching his personality continue to unfold and develop. And after moments like last night's prayer, I am reminded once again to slow down and enjoy the blessings that my children truly are.

Summer Travels

Father's day weekend for the last three years has been pretty special. Three years ago, our small group in Reno decided to venture out for a father-son camping trip. To keep that tradition going, last Friday we packed up some clothes and the boys, boarded another flight back to Reno, and set off for the weekend.

Not long after we landed, Kenny gathered up the boys and wisked them off to the wilderness along with his closest friends and their sons. As much as I'd love to detail out what happened in their 48 hours, I can't. They never seem to come back with many details. The most I get out of my boys is that their favorite part is roasting marshmellows and eating s'mores.

However, marshmellows and s'mores barely scratch the surface of what is really happening out there. The purpose of these camping trips is to let each child know that the men have pledged to stand as father figures for them and will assist when needed in raising them up according to Christ's teachings. In fact, during one camping trip, each of the fathers gave their son(s) a compass with Proverbs 3:6 written atop it; "In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight".

What a blessing that my husband participates in something of such magnitude. He has bonded in friendship and brotherhood with a group of men who value their roles as fathers and are active participants in parenthood. In todays society, we see fathers portrayed as bumbling idiots, hen-pecked and inadequate. This is a far cry from what the truth is when describing the group of men who Kenny camps with every year. They are men of integrity and character. They are loving, intelligent and family supportive. Most importantly, they are God-honoring and God-fearing men intent on raising their boys up to walk in their footsteps.

So, even though I know that my three sons are out in the woods with not enough hand sanitizer and are most likely attempting to see who can burp the loudest, I trust that this is all part of raising boys. And that is just what Kenny is doing...actively raising our boys to be God-seeking men. What a blessing that is.

Happy Anniversary

Yesterday, June the 8th, my mom and dad celebrated their 36th wedding anniversary. In between a baseball scrimmage and dinner, I managed to call them on my cell to wish them well. I didn't really get to talk to them for long due to poor reception and lots of background noise. Anyway, they were doing the usual....relaxing and unwinding after a full week of work. They told me of their intention to celebrate 36 years of marriage by going out to lunch today and catching a matinee showing of "Ocean's 13". And of course, Dad, as always, sent Mom a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

Although I didn't get to talk with them much, I've been thinking about them all day and pondering what it takes to make it through 36 years of marriage.

Kenny and I have been married 11 years. At times, it has been storybook bliss. At times, it has mirrored "War of the Roses". Graveyard shifts, children, personal struggles & unhappiness, financial stress, the busyness of life....all of these reasons and more have grabbed at Kenny and I both in an attempt to separate our oneness as husband and wife. And to be truthful, there have been times when our marriage has come close to dissolving. We have been through marriage counseling, we have been spiteful and neglectful with each other....we have entertained the idea of throwing in the towel and living a life apart.

But neither of us come from divorced parents. And I guess we're just to stubborn to give up when the going gets rough. When I took Kenny's hands and looked into his eyes on our wedding day.....when I said my vows.....I distinctly remember the emotion that overcame me. I knew that every word that I was saying, I meant with every fiber of my being. I wasn't going through the motions. I....meant....every....single....word. And I guess for that reason, I have never given up on us.

A very dear friend of mine, my mentor mom in MOPS, Reno, told me and a group of women that no one else will fight for your marriage. Having been there herself, she encouraged us to fight for what was ours and to not let the world succeed in its separating endeavors. At times, she said, it will seem like the world is against your marriage...and YOU will have to fight for it. No one else will engage that battle for you....YOU must fight for your marriage. She fought for hers and reaps the benefits of a Godly marriage today. I do so admire my mentor mom, Christy Turner.

A couple of years ago, I called my parents to admit to them the difficulties that Kenny and I were having in our marriage. As I cried and asked my mom if there were ever times when she wanted to leave my dad, she told me, "HELL YES!!! Almost every year!". And then before she was overcome with emotion, she said that had she left my dad, she wouldn't be enjoying the fruits of their labor today. I'll never forget that.

I guess those two examples stand out in my mind the most when the going gets rough between Kenny and I. I've always been stubborn and determined....and I suppose those are good traits to have when it comes to the longevity of marriage. Plus, the bottom line is that Kenny and I have always had something worth saving. He is a good man; no...he is great man. A loving and involved father, a wonderful provider, always willing to work on problems as they arise, sacrificial, selfless, and handsome to boot. I do love my husband dearly. Even when he picks his feet. And I look forward to celebrating every anniversary that our lives allow with him and him alone.

My grandmother (who tried to run off my dad when he was courting my mom, Dallas at two months old, my mom, my dad and Jason at 2 years old.

Happenings

As the summer comes, so does the chaos. And it's my intention to not let these added distractions take me away from my blogging. I desperately do not want this to be another venture that gets abandoned due to less important tasks calling for action...such things as housecleaning, groceries, etc. Hey, who needs to eat when you've got blogging to do? Besides, I've still got those extra pounds to lose, so I guess it's a win-win.

There has been so much going on in the last few weeks. I've been to Reno twice to work on the house and to hire a new realtor. After having renters in our house even for the short amount of time that we did, it was in need of some paint and a good scrubbing. And based on the recommendation of our new realtor, I laid down some playground bark in the backyard around the playset. Hopefully, this in conjunction with yet ANOTHER price reduction will get it sold.

Spring baseball has ended for Jason and Dallas. They had their team party this last Saturday to celebrate their all-defeated record. Poor little guys...they tried so hard and came close to a win on soooo many occassions. They just couldn't pull it off in the end. Their hitting was always phenomenal; their fielding...umm, not so much. Anyway, the good news is that Jason made the 1st team in his league's All-Stars. However, he wanted to play with his Red Sox teammates who also made All-Stars (Carter, Boston & Jonas), so he asked to be moved down to the 2nd team. I think over the next month, he'll have a few tournaments to play and based on Coach Bobby's opinion, this 2nd team is pretty decent. Should be exciting!

Sandwiched in between my Reno trips and the Red Sox team party, we spent a few days hanging out with Dave and Emily & Zachary. He is on leave right now and decided to make a road trip out here. That was especially nice. It's always great to get the boys together with their Uncle Dave, his tickle bugs, and their cousins. Anyway, I enjoyed watching Emily, Zachary and the boys all play together knowing that they were creating memories. We even managed to squeez in a trip to Six Flags. Not that that should be a surprise...I don't know of many occassions where Dave and I get together near a theme park and not take in a roller coaster or ten. All in all, it was a nice visit....a bit short, but there will be more opportunities for summer visits in the years to come.

I think that about covers what has been going on over the past few weeks. I know that this post just glosses over the details, and I'm going to try to get back to posting at least once a week so that I can better record this crazy life of mine. Until then, bring on the summer.