Yesterday, June the 8th, my mom and dad celebrated their 36th wedding anniversary. In between a baseball scrimmage and dinner, I managed to call them on my cell to wish them well. I didn't really get to talk to them for long due to poor reception and lots of background noise. Anyway, they were doing the usual....relaxing and unwinding after a full week of work. They told me of their intention to celebrate 36 years of marriage by going out to lunch today and catching a matinee showing of "Ocean's 13". And of course, Dad, as always, sent Mom a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
Although I didn't get to talk with them much, I've been thinking about them all day and pondering what it takes to make it through 36 years of marriage.
Kenny and I have been married 11 years. At times, it has been storybook bliss. At times, it has mirrored "War of the Roses". Graveyard shifts, children, personal struggles & unhappiness, financial stress, the busyness of life....all of these reasons and more have grabbed at Kenny and I both in an attempt to separate our oneness as husband and wife. And to be truthful, there have been times when our marriage has come close to dissolving. We have been through marriage counseling, we have been spiteful and neglectful with each other....we have entertained the idea of throwing in the towel and living a life apart.
But neither of us come from divorced parents. And I guess we're just to stubborn to give up when the going gets rough. When I took Kenny's hands and looked into his eyes on our wedding day.....when I said my vows.....I distinctly remember the emotion that overcame me. I knew that every word that I was saying, I meant with every fiber of my being. I wasn't going through the motions. I....meant....every....single....word. And I guess for that reason, I have never given up on us.
A very dear friend of mine, my mentor mom in MOPS, Reno, told me and a group of women that no one else will fight for your marriage. Having been there herself, she encouraged us to fight for what was ours and to not let the world succeed in its separating endeavors. At times, she said, it will seem like the world is against your marriage...and YOU will have to fight for it. No one else will engage that battle for you....YOU must fight for your marriage. She fought for hers and reaps the benefits of a Godly marriage today. I do so admire my mentor mom, Christy Turner.
A couple of years ago, I called my parents to admit to them the difficulties that Kenny and I were having in our marriage. As I cried and asked my mom if there were ever times when she wanted to leave my dad, she told me, "HELL YES!!! Almost every year!". And then before she was overcome with emotion, she said that had she left my dad, she wouldn't be enjoying the fruits of their labor today. I'll never forget that.
I guess those two examples stand out in my mind the most when the going gets rough between Kenny and I. I've always been stubborn and determined....and I suppose those are good traits to have when it comes to the longevity of marriage. Plus, the bottom line is that Kenny and I have always had something worth saving. He is a good man; no...he is great man. A loving and involved father, a wonderful provider, always willing to work on problems as they arise, sacrificial, selfless, and handsome to boot. I do love my husband dearly. Even when he picks his feet. And I look forward to celebrating every anniversary that our lives allow with him and him alone.
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