Sadie

I know better than that. Dogs don't handle heat the way that humans do. I know better. Yet I still had the brilliant idea to go for a walk in the mid-day sun with the family, dog included. And even though the temperature outside was in the mid 90's, I thought the breeze was enough to warrant a nice walk for everyone. Jason and Dallas would ride their bikes, I would push Keegan on his tricycle and Kenny would walk our family dog, Sadie.

Kenny immediately let Sadie off her leash allowing her to run free. She resembles an overstuffed sausage at this stage in her life. Exercise is hardly in her daily routine. So a free run would be good for her. And she seemed overjoyed to be out and running along side Jason and Dallas as they pedeled through the neighborhood streets.

At about 3/4 of the way into our walk, we realized that we should have brought her a bowl for some water. Instead, we led her to a garden hose and turned it on where she drank what she could between her heavy pants. She layed down on a cool spot of grass as if to tell us that she had gone as far as she intended to go. I told Kenny that I would run her back to the house and get her inside where it was cool and where she could get some fresh water, which is exactly what I did. But instead of drinking the water, she wandered around our house seeking an area that would cool her off quickly. She wouldn't take any water.

I immediately Google'd signs of heat stroke in canines. The symptoms were, rectal temperature of 106 or more, staggering, vomitting and diareah. At this point, Kenny was back at home and watching Sadie alongside me. We both jokingly shrugged at the idea of checking her rectal temperature, but agreed that she needed to be cooled down. He decided to lead her outside so that he could drench her with the water hose. As they headed downstairs, I noticed her staggering...sign #1. As she exited to the front porch, she immediately vomitted...sign #2. At that point, Kenny grabbed her and rushed her to the vet's office just down the road.

It didn't take much to confirm that she was indeed suffering from a heat stroke. Her temperature was 109...the highest that they had seen. She was immediately pumped full of fluids and every attempt to bring her temperature down was made. As Kenny headed off to work, I headed down to the vet's office to stay on site. Thirty minutes later, I was led back to see her.

She looked horrible. Her eyes were sunken and droopy. She barely made an attempt to raise her head to greet me. As they opened the kennel door, I stooped down to sit with her and found myself climbing into the kennel to sit beside and pet her. I supported the weight of her head by holding her chin so that we could have eye contact. All the while, the only thought running through my mind was "I did this to her. This was my stupid idea. I did this to her."

The vet came in and confirmed my fears. She was at a very critical stage and they didn't know if she would be able to pull through. She was facing an inability to clot, which if not conquered, would cause her to bleed out. In addition, she may have permanent organ failure.

They suggested taking her to the Animal Emergency Center down the road for overnight treatment. So after getting her stabilized, off we headed. When we arrived, the vet ran a couple of blood panels and confirmed that she was not clotting and would need plasma transfusions. When they brought in the cost estimates ($1,400-$2,500)along with the news that she had a 50-50 chance of survival, I immediately called Kenny and began sobbing. I asked him what he wanted to do and then asked what he thought we should do. Obviously, he wanted to do anything to save our dog's life. And 2 seconds before he began to tell me what he thought we should do, I stopped him from uttering the words. I told him that I couldn't live with the guilt of knowing that this was my fault. I told him that if she pulls through, she's got several years of joy that she can bring. And for those reasons, I wanted to take our chances...no matter the cost. So, I signed the release and gave her over to the care of the staff. They told me that no-news was good news and that if she could make it through the night, it would be a huge accomplishment.

The first words our of Jason's mouth as I walked through our home's front door were, "Where's Sadie?!?" He began crying immediately, fearing the worst. I tried to comfort him and assure him that they were doing absolutely everything possible to save her. Needless to say, it was a rough night last night for everyone.

At 11:30pm, the phone rang. I immediately flashed back to "No news is good news." As I grabbed the phone and saw the caller ID "Animal Emergency Center", my legs and arms went numb and my heart sank into the pit of my stomach. It seemed like a slow-motion movie as the voice on the other end began to tell me "No no...it's good news! Sadie is responding to the plasma. She is clotting and showing signs of improvement. I just thought you'd want to know." Whew!!

This morning, Jason and I hopped in the truck and headed down the pick her up. We were simply transporting her back to our vets office for further fluids and observation today.

Just now, the vet called to say that indeed, she has improved. Yet he is still concerned about possible kidney damage. She is still extremely dehydrated. At this point they are trying to flush out all the toxins from her body...those that are attempting to damager her kidneys. More blood panels are scheduled for this afternoon. But hopefully, she will be able to come home tonight. We are all obviously keeping our fingers crossed.

I never thought I'd be one of those animal nuts that spends thousands of dollars on their pet. But here I am....one of those nuts. Perhaps my guilt is the reason why $2,000-and-counting later, she is still alive with a fighting chance. I would like to believe though, that we said, "do whatever it takes." because she is such a huge part of our family. She is an amazing dog. Gentle, obedient, smart, loyal, trustworthy...everything that you would seek out in a person, let alone a dog.

Get well, Sadie. Get well.

Two Word Descriptives

My life right now in two word summaries:

Potty Training
Awaiting Summer
Constant Laundry
Settling Fights
Oregon Bound
Baseball's Over
Saving Gas
Falling Behind
Keeping Perspective
Missing Friends
Anticipating Layoffs
Appreciating Kenny
Exhaling Soon
Watching Movies
Trusting God
Friday Prayers
Taking Pictures
Paying Debt
Organizing Home
Seeking Guidance
Celebrating Decisions
Graphics Designing
Backyard Grilling
Michelob Ultra
Convincing Jacksons
Realizing Happiness
Loving Life

Cyndi & Scott

Cyndi has been one of my best friends for the last 24 years. We met at Cherry Avenue Jr. High School. Through the years, our friendship has solidified into something more like a sisterhood. Although we don't see each other or talk to each other as often as either of us would like, I feel certain that we both would go to the ends of the earth for the other. I love her beyond words.

Earlier this year, I got the phone call that I didn't want from her. She informed me that her husband's cancer was back. And for the last several months, Scott has been fighting through. He has been victorious over the cancer for a second time. However, the damages the cancer left in the wake are serious to say the least. It has been debilitating physically and emotionally. At this point, it seems as if only God can fully restore him.

I decided a few weeks ago to fly out to Oakland where he was hospitalized so that I could sit with them both for day. They didn't know that I was coming; I just went with the conviction that I should have been there to love on them weeks prior.

The hug that I received from Cyndi when she opened the door was one that I will remember all the days of my life. There are a handful of hugs that have really impacted me. When my Grandfather died, my dad hugged me and cried. It was the first time I had seen him cry. A hug hello I received at the Nashville airport said more than any words could have. And Cyndi's hug as she fell onto my shoulder and wept said all that needed to be said.

We spent much of the time just chatting, the three of us. At times, we would read scripture. We prayed together. We laughed and cried. We talked about Scott's prognosis. And for a short period, Cyndi and I were able to escape the hospital walls for a bite to eat, where we laughed and cried some more. It was over that meal that she told me that she believed it would take a miracle for Scott to walk out of the hospital. Good thing that God is still in the miracle making business. They both went home this last Wednesday. And even though Scott's kidney's are extremely damaged and the doctor's have done everything that they can...at least they are home together.

While I sat in that hospital room with them both, I felt that it was such an honor to be there. It was raw, absolute, real. There was full transparency with them both. They didn't hide emtotions, fears, tears, doubts...anything. I watched Cyndi care for her husband...I saw her dedication to him...her allegience. I witnessed his complete dependency on her. It really is impossible to put into words what I witnessed. As Scott fought for his life and clung on to a strand of hope, it was Cyndi there encouraging him. They mourned and wept over what seems to be unattainable dreams; a life in Japan, a return to the life they had just 5 years ago. They celebrated a new found level of emotional intimacy.

Why do we, as a people, wait for such extreme life events to bare our souls?

Needless to say, they have been on my mind quite a bit lately. And as I was working the other day on my laptop, I had my iTunes playing when "Now Comes The Night" by Rob Thomas came through my speakers. The simplicity of the piano caused me to pause and take in the lyrics. Then I realized that this song is what I witnessed with Cyndi and Scott. She has sung this song to him every day through her actions and absolute dedication to him. He has been her everything for every waking second through this battle. She has stood in the gap for him. She has remembered him in everything.

Before I headed to the airport to return home, I stopped by the hospital to check in one last time. After a near medication blunder, we all settling down and decided to pray. Afterward, I rose up and went to give Scott a hug. It was time for me to leave. As we hugged, I felt him begin to cry and I realized that he was saying goodbye. Not, "I'll see you later", but "goodbye". I guess at that moment, it hit me that this may indeed be goodbye, at least for our life here on earth. I whispered in his ear words of encouragement and told him to fight through and never give up hope. The people praying for his recovery would continue to pray and he would just need to fight through one day at a time. As we broke our embrace, I turned to Cyndi to hug her and say my farewells. I couldn't help but fight back the tears knowing full well that I was returning home to a pretty normal life by most people's standards while she remained on the front lines here at her husband's side.

As I entered the halls, the tears began rolling down my face. I knew that I was just in the presence of absolute love...unadulterated, undiluted and completely transparent. That's what I love about my friendship with Cyndi. It's authentic and real. So, I celebrate Cyndi today and what she has done for her husband through these last 4 weeks. I love her dearly and am honored to call her friend, sister, and hero.

Now Comes The Night

When the hour is upon us
And our beauty surely gone
No, you will not be a forgotten and you will not be alone
No, you will not be alone

And when the day has all but ended
And our echo starts to fade
No, you will not be alone then and you will not be afraid
No, you will not be afraid

And when the fog has finally lifted
From our cold and tired brow
No, I will not leave you crying
No, I will not let you down
No, I will not let you down
I will not let you down

Now comes the night
Feel it fading away
And the soul underneath
Is it all that remains
So just slide over here
Leave your fear in the fray
Let us hold to each other
Until the end of our days

When the hour is upon us
And our beauty surely gone
No you will not be forgotten
And you will not be alone
No you will not be alone

Hoping Once Again

After sending a selling proposal to our renters a few weeks ago, we finally got word back from them that they are 100% interested in purchasing our house back in Reno. We tried to entice them by reducing our price significantly. Maybe it worked.

The only hang-up is that they have a house in Fernley that needs to sell and they don't think that they will qualify for another home loan as long as they have that house in their name.

They have 66 more days on the lease with their tenants. They said that once the lease is up, they will then put their house on the market. In the meantime, Kenny and I are both praying that they DO qualify for a second home loan and will move forward with our purchase more sooner than later.

Here's to keeping our fingers crossed....

Precious Moments

Last night as I sang our traditional bedtime song to my boys, I realized that it won't be long before they do not want to participate in this bedtime ritual. Right now, they beg me every evening to tuck them in and sing to them. I happily oblige, and admittedly do so quite frequently on autopilot. However, last night...for whatever reason, it struck me that what I was experiencing would soon be a fond memory that I would long to relive.

The days, weeks, months and years seem to be flying by lately. My "baby" will be 3 in a few short months....yet it was just a few blinks ago when I held my oldest in my arms for the very first time.

I'm so thankful that I realize these precious moments as they happen.

Attacks

Lately, my very best friends have been coming under various attacks. One is dealing with her spouse's major health issues and another confronts the demons of a troubled child.

In times like these, many would say that God is not a good God. That He is absent from the every day struggles of man. That He doesn't care or won't get involved in His creation's problems. However, I can not accept this theory. I have seen what prayer can do. I have witnessed miracles. I have experienced transformation. I cling to the hope that is Jesus Christ.

I use to think that people who said things like this were just speaking "Christianese" and that it was just lipservice given to a bad situation. However, the more I grow and further my walk in Christ, I realize that the hope therein is more true and heavier in substance than I ever thought possible. All of life's answers are found in Christ...all of them. So during these troubling times, I turn to Him, I petition for my beloved, I trust in His authority and Word and sovereignty. It's all I can do.... and it's enough.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

Easter Epiphany

This Easter, I had an epiphany. As I stood in service singing along to the worship music, I was blanketed by God's grace in a way that I have never experienced before. I realized that I am not above backsliding and am still in desperate need of a Savior. It was such a profound experience; I'm certain that this date has been permanently marked as a turning point in my life.

Matthew 5:29

Romans 7:15 (NLT)

Luke 6:46

Choking

I'm literally choking on my own thoughts and words as I cry out to God on behalf of my friend of 23 years. She is hurting, so I hurt too. She is walking through the lowest valley of her life and all I want to do is wrap my arms around her and cry with her. Distance seperates us physically, but we're both sobbing. I'm scared, she is terrified, and he continues to hold on. Lord, please give him the strength, the health and the hope to hold on.

Boomer

Last Tuesday, we bid farewell to our dog, Boomer. We had him for a little over a year. We went through the puppy stage where he chewed everything, including our comforter and pillow set. The digging stage where he destroyed our backyard. The hyper stage (which he's still in) where he leaped like a Mexican Jumping Bean anytime there was human contact. The pissing stage where he marked his territory all over any absorbant item in our house. And the humping stage where he continually attempted to mount our other, very low key, very mellow dog, Sadie. Needless to say, the decision to find another family for him was a hard one.

Really though, Boomer is a very smart dog. We just never had the time for him that he so desperately needed. And since the purchase of our house, we knew that he'd have to find another home due to the size of our yard.

Ironically, he wound up back in Reno. He's now with a family of animal lovers on a couple acres of land. Kenny works with his new owner and has since confirmed how happy Boomer is and how well he has adjusted to his new life.

As for us, we're happier too. I really do hate to admit that we are those people...ones who didn't fully commit to our pet. Well, at least that was the case with Boomer. And I never thought that we'd be placing him in another home...but we did what we knew was best for us and him both.

Anyway, the other day, my mother-in-law was commenting on how much happier Sadie seems. She's not so nervous and just seems to be a bit more content. I mentioned something to the fact that I noticed that as well, and that I thought a lot of it had to do with Boomer's absence. Sadie now gets more time with us, like it used to be. There is just a greater harmony in the home. To that, Dallas agreed. He said, "Sadie is more happy now that Boomer is gone cause he was always trying to get piggy back rides from her." All Kathy and I could do was laugh and agree. Out of the mouths of babes....

Starting to Move

After many hours of labor, we moved our first load over to the new house tonight. There is still a lot to do; many rooms still to paint and tons of landscaping to do. But at least we are now moving forward. I believe that tonight might be our last night here. I'm pretty sure that we'll start sleeping over at the other house tomorrow. Finally!

Aside from finally moving some stuff to the new house, I'd have to say that the highlight of my day was when our family was participating in our dinner-time "high-low" game. Each night that we gather around the dinner table, we each confess our high and low point for the day. What made my day was hearing Dallas say that his "high" for the day was knowing that I was his Valentine. Talk about melting my heart.

Aside from the house and loving my children beyond comprehension...I've been gearing up for some volunteer work at my church. In the next couple of weeks, I will be coordinating Financial Peace University. It's been 5 years since I/we took this 13 week course and it has completely changed the way that Kenny and I handle our finances. I wish that I could say that we haven't made mistakes since taking the course, but that would be a lie. However, we're back on track and I'm looking forward to helping other families along their journey as well.

Well, I guess that's about it for now. I can't believe that I haven't posted anything for so long. I guess that I've been busier than I realized. Still...that is no excuse. I am hoping to post some "after" pictures of the house very soon so as to document what I've been busy/distracted with. Stay tuned.