Jr. High All Over Again

After a fun exchange of messages with a friend of mine, I jokingly promoted his placement in my "Top Friends" myspace area. And that got me to thinking and analyzing and wondering about this "Top Friends" myspace option and how many friendships have been effected by it.

Think about it, Myspace gives you the option to rank your friends; to put them in a placement of importance based on what your criteria is. That could be how close you are with them, how long you've known them, family relationship, age, the date that they were added to your friends list....the criteria options really are endless.

What's disturbing about this is that you can watch your own placement move around based on the new friends that are added to someone else's friends list. Yes, I am speaking from experience...I notice these things; not only with my placement but with others as well. Sometimes you're moved up...sometimes your moved down. Sometimes, you're moved entirely off the "Top Friends" page.

Now, as an adult...I can shrug these things off. Good gracious, there are sooo many more important things to worry about than where you are on your buddy's Myspace page. In fact, even typing that sentence makes me feel like I'm 13 again. Which is where I'm going with this. Seeing that Myspace is huge with the younger kids, I wonder how many relationships have been altered or effected by this public display of "I like you more than her, but not more than him." Talk about a self-esteem crusher! I remember what it was like to be young and to worry about nonsense like this. And that was back when your pecking order wasn't on display for the world to see!

I can't imagine being a young 13 year old girl today. For as cool as Myspace is as a tool to keep people connected, it's also just another way to proclaim whose click you belong to and the pecking order therein. I don't think I ever realized this until I moved my friend around and got to thinking about it all. And that really got me to realizing how damaging it could be to the self esteem of so many young ladies in this superficial country that we live in today.

Not that this theme of favoritism should be surprising, really. We live in country filled with people who cast their weekly vote for their favorite singer/dancer/comedian. We even have cell phones with a top 5 friends list. It just seems like more and more things are falling into the realm of rankings....and most of those for the public to see.

I admit, my top friends are there and ranked accordingly for a reason. I guess that makes me just as guilty as the next person for putting them in any order at all. And even though I based my top friends on who I check in with/on most often, it's still a very strange concept to embrace. I guess I just find it all a bit funny and sad and thought provoking at the same time.

So, for the record, I gathered my "top friends" and thought that I'd share a little about each of them....

• Planedoctor: That very ugly woman would happen to be my very handsome husband. He is the love of my life...even if he never logs in to his Myspace account. At the end of the day, he is all that I ever dreamed of in a husband and father.


• Raquel: This is my best friend of 22 years. She is so awesome. She has a contagious laugh and smile and a heart of gold. We have shared a lot through life...births, deaths and everything in between. And even though we don't get to see each other as often as we'd like to, I know that we'll be friends to the grave.


• Krissy: She is another friend that I will have for life. One of my very best buds. She has witnessed the birth of two of my boys and I love her dearly...probably more than she knows. Mostly, I miss her and all the fun stuff we use to do together, like painting and crafts and conversation over coffee and visiting new house models and watching our kids play and grow together.


• Alfredo: He's my hot online sancho. ;-) We match wits quite well.


• Justin: My dear brother in law whom I love deeply. He reminds me of a big teddy bear. He can look intimidating and put up a good front, but I know his heart...and it's a very sweet one.


• Dave: My other brother-in-law whom I also love to pieces. He is very outgoing and personable and very fun to hang out with. It's always a good time when we're together. Gotta love family.


• Caryn: This is my workout buddy....my Pflugerville friend...my margarita matey. She kicks my ass at the gym and keeps me laughing with her personality. Our boys are rock stars on the baseball diamond and get along really well together. I'm sure that they will be buds throughout their school years....and she'll still be kicking my ass at the gym.

Anyway, I was just pondering this subject and thought that it was interesting food for thought.

What Matters Most?

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.

Pushing the Limits

After attending last night's church service, we decided to stick around for the pot luck. I thought for sure that after consuming what I put on my plate that I would experience my first "treatment". However, so far I've been safe. Not that what I ate was all that bad. I ate mostly meats and cheeses since I'm trying this no-carbs-during-the-last-meal recommendation from my friend Fred. (On that note...Freddy: this is killing me. You do remember where we grew up? Home of great mexican food, including your mamma's tortillas?) But the meats were kinda fatty and the cheeses were, duh...fatty. And of course I couldn't pass the brownies without snagging a couple of small squares.....yes, they are my downfall. Anyway, so far...so good. No "treatments" or anything unusual. I've eased into this program and hopefully will see some results within the next couple of months. I've got to believe that eventually, my body will kick in and start to shed those extra pounds that are stubbornly holding residence around my mid-section.

On another note, I just finished watching a great documentary on Wal-Mart. It is titled, "Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price". The film outlines many areas of Wal-Mart's business practices ranging from the 1.5 billion dollars it costs taxpayers because the most profitable retail business in the world is too cheap to offer its employees affordable health coverage...to their lack of concern for their patrons safety while in their parking lots. (Local case in point added 08/27 here .)

It also looks into the corporations intimidation tactics used to assure that potential labor unions never gain traction with their associates. Heaven forbid that their employees have labor representation which might get them a decent wage and benefit package.

Environmental issues, sex discrimination, oversea factory working environments, tax subsidies....even the generosity (or lack thereof) of the Walton family comes under scrutiny in this film.

After watching this film, I just don't know how I will ever be able to spend another dollar in one of their stores. Every time I give them a single cent, I am sending the message that the way they practice business and the way that they treat people all over the world is ok with me. I know that one family won't put a dent in their bottom line, but the lesson that I can teach my children about characteristics like generosity, accountability, truthfulness and integrity will be worth the sacrifice that will need to be made for us financially. I just wish that everyone who supports this company by shopping there would watch this film as well.

I signed up for WHAT?

About a week ago, I was on the phone with my brother who was telling me that he and his wife had both lost about 20 lbs in the last month. I cringed when he told me how, some new diet pill called Alli. Admittedly, I live under a rock; I had never heard of it the pill or the plan. I just don't pay attention to what the latest fad diet is. I think most diets and diet plans are a bunch of hooey. Common sense and hard work should get anyone to their weight loss goals....that's my opinion at least. However, he ranted on about how it's the only FDA approved item out there and then continued to explain to me how it works.


In addition to the normal dieting that you would submit to, adding this pill apparently blocks your body from digesting about 25% of the fat that you intake which in turn does not allow those extra calories and fat to get absorbed into your body. Instead, the undigested fat is eliminated through your bowels.


My brother then went on to warn me about the only side effect....they're called "treatments". Apparently, if you go over your allotted grams of fat per meal, you may experience the immediate need to rush to the commode. He said that Alli calls them "treatments", but he refers to them as ass explosions. I got a good chuckle out of his stories and in the end thought that the true power behind this plan was the motivation it creates to not experience these "treatments" in public. Well, to make a long story short, he convinced me that the pills were worth a try...so I bought a bottle.


I asked Kenny if he wanted to join me....to which he quickly responded "No thank you, I'd like to keep my dignity in tact." He said that he would see how my body responded to any possible "treatments" and then would think about it. Well to me...that sounded like a challenge, so I told him I'd do it and prove him wrong. I am destined for my size 8's.....and have been for a long time.


OK...fast forward to today. The pills came and I've been reading up on my customized eating plan and such. I skim through the literature regarding how the pills work and the exercise that will be needed. I note to myself that I'm already working out pretty regularly so I don't see the exercise really being a hurdle to overcome. And then I come across the notes on the "treatments" and how to manage them. As you can imagine, my eyebrows shot straight up when I read their suggestion to wear dark pants while getting use to the plan. I'm guessing that's so that when you crap yourself, people won't notice right away? I'm also urged to stay home and close to the bathroom for the first few days on this plan as the urgency and immediate need for a commode may be relevant.


Great....what have I gotten myself into? I certainly am not going to give up on something that I haven't even tried...yet I'm suddenly wondering how absorbent the astronaut diapers were that Lisa Nowak wore. Hmmm.....


I guess the one good thing that will come of this is the fact that I should have gluts of steal in another month. I guarantee that they will be puckered and constricted the entire time that I'm participating in my latest weight loss attempt. If that doesn't tone them up...nothing will.

While My Guitar Gently Weeps

Three summers ago, I was experiencing recurring dreams. There were two of them actually; one of which I still experience regularly. But the other one hasn't interrupted my slumbers since that summer.

In the dream, I played a purple acoustic guitar. That's pretty much the summary of the dream. I never pulled anything out of it except the fact that I was playing an acoustic guitar and it was purple. End of dream. The part that bothered me was the fact that the dream continued to visit me. What did it mean? I didn't know and didn't bother to make any attempts at deep interpretation.

But then one day, we were up in Medford visiting my parents and happened to drive by a Guitar Center. I mentioned my dream to Kenny and he quickly offered to pull into the parking lot. Next thing you know, we are inside and I am explaining my dream to a sales rep. I wondered out loud if my creativity need was not being satisfied and that this was my subconscious begging me to do something about it. He gladly scoured the stock room and resurfaced with none other than a beautiful Ibanez purple acoustic guitar. He noted the slim neck for my small hands and pretty much worked every angle that he knew how to in hopes of a sale.

About 2 hours later we left the store, not with a guitar mind you, but with an electronic drum set which is an instrument that I already know how to play. I figured that my creativity cravings would be satisfied by banging on that a little each day. Still, weeks later I couldn't shake the remembrance of that guitar. So with a coy grin, I confessed my obsession to Kenny. About a week later, I was strumming out my first chords.

In character with my ADD/OCD personality, the guitar only captured my attention for a few months. A pregnancy and everything that follows took priority and I began storing it in the closet; out of sight-out of mind. Not even my "actually-played-Purple-Rain-with-Prince's-own-hands" pick motivated me to strum out a song.

Well, I finally pulled it back out about 2 weeks ago and started practicing again. My fingertips are numb and beginning to callous and I beat myself up with my desire for excellence. But I'm stubborn and persistent and really do want to learn how to play. So, last night I played for about an hour and even though the songs were not anywhere near perfectly timed, it was very therapeutic. My fans think I'm better than what I actually am. The dogs tilt their heads to the side and stare at me in wonderment and my boys dance around in mosh pit style. I'm a far cry from Hendrix, but to my boys I'm the coolest mom on the block. And, I guess that's reason enough to continue strumming along.

I Suck

So, one of my very best friend's birthday was July 17th...and I have yet to call or even send a belated birthday card. Man, I suck. And I can't shake the guilt that I feel for letting her birthday pass without even a phone call just to wish her well. As if that weren't bad enough, I have missed two of her three kid's birthdays as well. Man, I suck. What sort of friend does that? I don't know what my problem is....whether it be the travels that have kept me busy this summer or the house not selling that has kept me in a foul mood...or whatever. I just keep kicking myself for being such a crappy friend and letting longer lapses of time pass before I talk to her.

It's funny, we've been friends since right around the 8th grade. And our friendship has gone through many changes. We've shared broken hearts, marriages, births and deaths together. And even though I haven't physically seen her in a couple of years, I know that if I ever needed something, she would be there for me. I have always counted it a blessing to know that I have a small handful of friends that I can count on no matter what. And she is at the top of that list. However, I don't feel like I could say the same thing about myself regarding her needs...and I guess that's what really bothers me. I've always prided myself on being loyal and true. And it just seems like this last year, we have talked less and less....and that really scares me cause I love her like a sister. She is one of the nicest, purest-hearted people that I know. Many times, I have aspired to take on many of her characteristics because I do so admire her. And the thought of where our friendship could end up if I continue to be such a slacker...well, it scares me.

Anyway, I'm just sitting her feeling pretty bad about missing her birthday cause I guess it's forces me to face the fact that I haven't been so great at keeping in touch. I've already emailed her tonight to see how pissed off she is....and I'm sure I'll muster up the courage to call her this weekend. But in the meantime, I'm feeling pretty guilty about letting this much time go by without calling her to let her know how much she really does mean to me.