What Qualifies?

Yesterday, I attended a luncheon/baby shower for a lovely friend who is due in December. Her and her husband are adding a baby girl to the two boys that they already have. She is incredibly small for the month that she is in and looks absolutely fabulous.

The shower was a small affair; only about 7 ladies attended. For the most part, the common denominator is baseball and our sons. With only an exception or two, most of our sons have at one time or another played on the same baseball team. Through those games, we have established a friendship of sorts and have on occasion gone out for drinks and dinner after a game.

Over the course of the shower was the expected casual talk. During one exchange, I mentioned that I stay at home. Two of the ladies showed a level of surprise accompanied by the response that I didn't strike them as the "stay at home" type. And that got me to wondering.... what exactly IS the "stay at home" type?

Thinking back on my treasured days with my fellow stay-at-home moms in Reno, I reviewed who they were and where they came from. Several had post-graduate degrees, most had at least a 4 year degree, and every single one of us left a promising career. Speaking for myself, there have been countless occasions where I have wondered how in the world I could be programming one day and wiping butt the next.

I then moved on to appearance. I wondered if maybe "stay at home moms" stereotypically let themselves go. Do we look unkept? Are we constantly frazzled? I guess I can understand that stereotype. There are only so many times you can get barfed on before your wardrobe starts to look a little drab. However, once again I thought back to the ladies I know and can very vividly recall physical and inward beauty beyond measure. They showered and put make up on daily and even ironed their clothes when needed.

Then the realization kicked in that maybe stay at home moms are more loving and prepared for their children. Do they have chilled sippy cups at any given moment? Are they constantly stocked with healthy snacks? Suddenly, flashbacks of the previous day hit me and I wonder how I must look to those around me.

You see, I could tell right away that Saturday was going to be "one of those days" with my youngest son, Keegan. Alone and at wits end, I still had to manage a 2 hour volunteer shift at the baseball concession stand with kids in tow. The only reinforcements that I had were the bribed eyes of Jason and the trusted enforcer of all that is good....my wooden spoon.

Yes, I admit it....I have a wooden spoon and I use it on my children's backside when needed. Believe me, I don't have to use it often. The mere sight of it causes their pucker reflex to kick in and miraculously, they change whatever behavior has prompted me to pull out the spoon in the first place. Anyway, I brought it to the baseball field as a visual reminder for Keegan. It sat in my side cargo pant pocket and caught the fearful eye of many children and the chuckle of many mothers. Mostly though, I preoccupied Keegan with about 7 slushies. Only a couple of times did I pull out the spoon to remind him that it was only a grab away.

So back to my curiosity....what qualifies me to not strike someone as a stay at home mom? I didn't take their comment as an insult, nor do I believe that they meant it as such. But as I sit here and try to break down the meaning of it, I admit that I am curious. Is it my appearance, my verbiage, my attitude, my lack of preparedness....I can only sit here and wonder.