Thankful For The Little Things

Now that the weather has cooled down a few degrees here in Texas, I decided to slip on a pair of jeans this morning. I haven't worn them in a while...maybe a couple of months. Anyway, to my surprise, I didn't have to spray cooking oil on my legs to get them on! Hey, this working out stuff must be paying off. Whoo-hoo!!

The scale tells me that I've actually gained two pounds, but I'm telling myself that those 32 ounces must be muscle. Either that or I'm bloated and about to see Auntie Rose. I'll take either as long as my jeans continue to fit a little looser each time I slide my legs into them. Yes, I'm thankful for the little things.



Jason has returned to school and the chaos in the house has settled down a bit. He also started fall-ball and is very excited to be running the bases with his friends once again. And, about a week ago, he lost a second front tooth in his tiny, but loud, little mouth. You would think that having a less than fully-functioning mouth would keep him from talking as much or bossing around his brothers or eating or screaming...yet that hasn't happened. It's a mystery to me.

Anyway, when I was his age and lost my two front teeth, I remember my dad taking me outside for a portrait with his old-school 110 film camera with the rotating flash cube. He hoisted me up onto his beloved Pinto and captured the same toothless grin seen here. Come to think of it, there really aren't many differences between Jason and I at 7 with the exception of Jason's hair. (His is much nicer.) We both wanted to wear boys clothes and play sports all day. However, unlike myself at his age, kids don't come up to Jason and ask him if he's a boy or a girl. Thank the good Lord above that I don't get asked that question anymore. Yes, I'm thankful for the little things.



As for Dallas, he has started karate at our local Little Gym. I'm secretly hoping that he will learn enough moves to humble his cocky older brother. I know that he's not suppose to use his moves outside of where he learns them unless it is an emergency. But I know my child...and I can guarantee that Jason will become his favorite practice punching bag. And I'm ok with that. Dallas gets lost in the mix being the middle child. I want him to have self confidence and a sense of identity seperate from Jason. I think that enrolling him in something like karate will allow him to do just that. Plus, it gives me 1 hour a week of alone time. Yes, I am thankful for the little things.




As for Keegan, he continues to explore the world around him. As you can imagine, he constantly follows his two older brothers and tries to mimick their every move. Considering that their every move usually consists of wrestling, yelling, fighting, farting and calling out my name every 7 seconds, I'm overwhelmed quite often. I'm outnumbered with these boys and the day they truly figure that out, I'm up the creek.

At the end of the day when I lay my head on my pillow and thank God for the blessings that these boys are, I also thank Him that He gave me enough common sense to stop reproducing. Yes, I am thankful for the little things.



On that note, I sign off. I have this urgent need to phone my therapist in regard to the "Are you a boy or a girl?" question that I received so often as a child.

Jr. High All Over Again

After a fun exchange of messages with a friend of mine, I jokingly promoted his placement in my "Top Friends" myspace area. And that got me to thinking and analyzing and wondering about this "Top Friends" myspace option and how many friendships have been effected by it.

Think about it, Myspace gives you the option to rank your friends; to put them in a placement of importance based on what your criteria is. That could be how close you are with them, how long you've known them, family relationship, age, the date that they were added to your friends list....the criteria options really are endless.

What's disturbing about this is that you can watch your own placement move around based on the new friends that are added to someone else's friends list. Yes, I am speaking from experience...I notice these things; not only with my placement but with others as well. Sometimes you're moved up...sometimes your moved down. Sometimes, you're moved entirely off the "Top Friends" page.

Now, as an adult...I can shrug these things off. Good gracious, there are sooo many more important things to worry about than where you are on your buddy's Myspace page. In fact, even typing that sentence makes me feel like I'm 13 again. Which is where I'm going with this. Seeing that Myspace is huge with the younger kids, I wonder how many relationships have been altered or effected by this public display of "I like you more than her, but not more than him." Talk about a self-esteem crusher! I remember what it was like to be young and to worry about nonsense like this. And that was back when your pecking order wasn't on display for the world to see!

I can't imagine being a young 13 year old girl today. For as cool as Myspace is as a tool to keep people connected, it's also just another way to proclaim whose click you belong to and the pecking order therein. I don't think I ever realized this until I moved my friend around and got to thinking about it all. And that really got me to realizing how damaging it could be to the self esteem of so many young ladies in this superficial country that we live in today.

Not that this theme of favoritism should be surprising, really. We live in country filled with people who cast their weekly vote for their favorite singer/dancer/comedian. We even have cell phones with a top 5 friends list. It just seems like more and more things are falling into the realm of rankings....and most of those for the public to see.

I admit, my top friends are there and ranked accordingly for a reason. I guess that makes me just as guilty as the next person for putting them in any order at all. And even though I based my top friends on who I check in with/on most often, it's still a very strange concept to embrace. I guess I just find it all a bit funny and sad and thought provoking at the same time.

So, for the record, I gathered my "top friends" and thought that I'd share a little about each of them....

• Planedoctor: That very ugly woman would happen to be my very handsome husband. He is the love of my life...even if he never logs in to his Myspace account. At the end of the day, he is all that I ever dreamed of in a husband and father.


• Raquel: This is my best friend of 22 years. She is so awesome. She has a contagious laugh and smile and a heart of gold. We have shared a lot through life...births, deaths and everything in between. And even though we don't get to see each other as often as we'd like to, I know that we'll be friends to the grave.


• Krissy: She is another friend that I will have for life. One of my very best buds. She has witnessed the birth of two of my boys and I love her dearly...probably more than she knows. Mostly, I miss her and all the fun stuff we use to do together, like painting and crafts and conversation over coffee and visiting new house models and watching our kids play and grow together.


• Alfredo: He's my hot online sancho. ;-) We match wits quite well.


• Justin: My dear brother in law whom I love deeply. He reminds me of a big teddy bear. He can look intimidating and put up a good front, but I know his heart...and it's a very sweet one.


• Dave: My other brother-in-law whom I also love to pieces. He is very outgoing and personable and very fun to hang out with. It's always a good time when we're together. Gotta love family.


• Caryn: This is my workout buddy....my Pflugerville friend...my margarita matey. She kicks my ass at the gym and keeps me laughing with her personality. Our boys are rock stars on the baseball diamond and get along really well together. I'm sure that they will be buds throughout their school years....and she'll still be kicking my ass at the gym.

Anyway, I was just pondering this subject and thought that it was interesting food for thought.

What Matters Most?

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.

Pushing the Limits

After attending last night's church service, we decided to stick around for the pot luck. I thought for sure that after consuming what I put on my plate that I would experience my first "treatment". However, so far I've been safe. Not that what I ate was all that bad. I ate mostly meats and cheeses since I'm trying this no-carbs-during-the-last-meal recommendation from my friend Fred. (On that note...Freddy: this is killing me. You do remember where we grew up? Home of great mexican food, including your mamma's tortillas?) But the meats were kinda fatty and the cheeses were, duh...fatty. And of course I couldn't pass the brownies without snagging a couple of small squares.....yes, they are my downfall. Anyway, so far...so good. No "treatments" or anything unusual. I've eased into this program and hopefully will see some results within the next couple of months. I've got to believe that eventually, my body will kick in and start to shed those extra pounds that are stubbornly holding residence around my mid-section.

On another note, I just finished watching a great documentary on Wal-Mart. It is titled, "Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price". The film outlines many areas of Wal-Mart's business practices ranging from the 1.5 billion dollars it costs taxpayers because the most profitable retail business in the world is too cheap to offer its employees affordable health coverage...to their lack of concern for their patrons safety while in their parking lots. (Local case in point added 08/27 here .)

It also looks into the corporations intimidation tactics used to assure that potential labor unions never gain traction with their associates. Heaven forbid that their employees have labor representation which might get them a decent wage and benefit package.

Environmental issues, sex discrimination, oversea factory working environments, tax subsidies....even the generosity (or lack thereof) of the Walton family comes under scrutiny in this film.

After watching this film, I just don't know how I will ever be able to spend another dollar in one of their stores. Every time I give them a single cent, I am sending the message that the way they practice business and the way that they treat people all over the world is ok with me. I know that one family won't put a dent in their bottom line, but the lesson that I can teach my children about characteristics like generosity, accountability, truthfulness and integrity will be worth the sacrifice that will need to be made for us financially. I just wish that everyone who supports this company by shopping there would watch this film as well.

I signed up for WHAT?

About a week ago, I was on the phone with my brother who was telling me that he and his wife had both lost about 20 lbs in the last month. I cringed when he told me how, some new diet pill called Alli. Admittedly, I live under a rock; I had never heard of it the pill or the plan. I just don't pay attention to what the latest fad diet is. I think most diets and diet plans are a bunch of hooey. Common sense and hard work should get anyone to their weight loss goals....that's my opinion at least. However, he ranted on about how it's the only FDA approved item out there and then continued to explain to me how it works.


In addition to the normal dieting that you would submit to, adding this pill apparently blocks your body from digesting about 25% of the fat that you intake which in turn does not allow those extra calories and fat to get absorbed into your body. Instead, the undigested fat is eliminated through your bowels.


My brother then went on to warn me about the only side effect....they're called "treatments". Apparently, if you go over your allotted grams of fat per meal, you may experience the immediate need to rush to the commode. He said that Alli calls them "treatments", but he refers to them as ass explosions. I got a good chuckle out of his stories and in the end thought that the true power behind this plan was the motivation it creates to not experience these "treatments" in public. Well, to make a long story short, he convinced me that the pills were worth a try...so I bought a bottle.


I asked Kenny if he wanted to join me....to which he quickly responded "No thank you, I'd like to keep my dignity in tact." He said that he would see how my body responded to any possible "treatments" and then would think about it. Well to me...that sounded like a challenge, so I told him I'd do it and prove him wrong. I am destined for my size 8's.....and have been for a long time.


OK...fast forward to today. The pills came and I've been reading up on my customized eating plan and such. I skim through the literature regarding how the pills work and the exercise that will be needed. I note to myself that I'm already working out pretty regularly so I don't see the exercise really being a hurdle to overcome. And then I come across the notes on the "treatments" and how to manage them. As you can imagine, my eyebrows shot straight up when I read their suggestion to wear dark pants while getting use to the plan. I'm guessing that's so that when you crap yourself, people won't notice right away? I'm also urged to stay home and close to the bathroom for the first few days on this plan as the urgency and immediate need for a commode may be relevant.


Great....what have I gotten myself into? I certainly am not going to give up on something that I haven't even tried...yet I'm suddenly wondering how absorbent the astronaut diapers were that Lisa Nowak wore. Hmmm.....


I guess the one good thing that will come of this is the fact that I should have gluts of steal in another month. I guarantee that they will be puckered and constricted the entire time that I'm participating in my latest weight loss attempt. If that doesn't tone them up...nothing will.

While My Guitar Gently Weeps

Three summers ago, I was experiencing recurring dreams. There were two of them actually; one of which I still experience regularly. But the other one hasn't interrupted my slumbers since that summer.

In the dream, I played a purple acoustic guitar. That's pretty much the summary of the dream. I never pulled anything out of it except the fact that I was playing an acoustic guitar and it was purple. End of dream. The part that bothered me was the fact that the dream continued to visit me. What did it mean? I didn't know and didn't bother to make any attempts at deep interpretation.

But then one day, we were up in Medford visiting my parents and happened to drive by a Guitar Center. I mentioned my dream to Kenny and he quickly offered to pull into the parking lot. Next thing you know, we are inside and I am explaining my dream to a sales rep. I wondered out loud if my creativity need was not being satisfied and that this was my subconscious begging me to do something about it. He gladly scoured the stock room and resurfaced with none other than a beautiful Ibanez purple acoustic guitar. He noted the slim neck for my small hands and pretty much worked every angle that he knew how to in hopes of a sale.

About 2 hours later we left the store, not with a guitar mind you, but with an electronic drum set which is an instrument that I already know how to play. I figured that my creativity cravings would be satisfied by banging on that a little each day. Still, weeks later I couldn't shake the remembrance of that guitar. So with a coy grin, I confessed my obsession to Kenny. About a week later, I was strumming out my first chords.

In character with my ADD/OCD personality, the guitar only captured my attention for a few months. A pregnancy and everything that follows took priority and I began storing it in the closet; out of sight-out of mind. Not even my "actually-played-Purple-Rain-with-Prince's-own-hands" pick motivated me to strum out a song.

Well, I finally pulled it back out about 2 weeks ago and started practicing again. My fingertips are numb and beginning to callous and I beat myself up with my desire for excellence. But I'm stubborn and persistent and really do want to learn how to play. So, last night I played for about an hour and even though the songs were not anywhere near perfectly timed, it was very therapeutic. My fans think I'm better than what I actually am. The dogs tilt their heads to the side and stare at me in wonderment and my boys dance around in mosh pit style. I'm a far cry from Hendrix, but to my boys I'm the coolest mom on the block. And, I guess that's reason enough to continue strumming along.

I Suck

So, one of my very best friend's birthday was July 17th...and I have yet to call or even send a belated birthday card. Man, I suck. And I can't shake the guilt that I feel for letting her birthday pass without even a phone call just to wish her well. As if that weren't bad enough, I have missed two of her three kid's birthdays as well. Man, I suck. What sort of friend does that? I don't know what my problem is....whether it be the travels that have kept me busy this summer or the house not selling that has kept me in a foul mood...or whatever. I just keep kicking myself for being such a crappy friend and letting longer lapses of time pass before I talk to her.

It's funny, we've been friends since right around the 8th grade. And our friendship has gone through many changes. We've shared broken hearts, marriages, births and deaths together. And even though I haven't physically seen her in a couple of years, I know that if I ever needed something, she would be there for me. I have always counted it a blessing to know that I have a small handful of friends that I can count on no matter what. And she is at the top of that list. However, I don't feel like I could say the same thing about myself regarding her needs...and I guess that's what really bothers me. I've always prided myself on being loyal and true. And it just seems like this last year, we have talked less and less....and that really scares me cause I love her like a sister. She is one of the nicest, purest-hearted people that I know. Many times, I have aspired to take on many of her characteristics because I do so admire her. And the thought of where our friendship could end up if I continue to be such a slacker...well, it scares me.

Anyway, I'm just sitting her feeling pretty bad about missing her birthday cause I guess it's forces me to face the fact that I haven't been so great at keeping in touch. I've already emailed her tonight to see how pissed off she is....and I'm sure I'll muster up the courage to call her this weekend. But in the meantime, I'm feeling pretty guilty about letting this much time go by without calling her to let her know how much she really does mean to me.

Stages of fear

Seeing that this is the first time we have lived so close to a theme park, we thought it would be a decent idea to buy season passes to Six Flags as summer entertainment. The theme park is only about a 40 minute drive...and yesterday, we decided to take the boys for a day of fun.

Jason is finally tall enough to start riding some of the more extreme roller coasters. He's gone on a few that I would never have attempted at his age. However, he does so with a bit of hesitation and fear. Not that either ever stops him...he's a trooper and doesn't mind testing his limits...or mine for that matter. Anyway, I thought it would be fun to sit across from him on the Conquistador huge pendulum swing and snap a few pictures. These were posted in the order taken. And then at the end is a few more pictures from our day.



"Not that I'll need this, but rules are rules....time to strap in."

"I can handle this...piece of cake...."

As the ride swings higher and more aggressively, notice his hands come down from above his head to beside his cheeks...."just in case."

And just before the ride really starts to kick in, Jason thinks he is big man on campus.

Bravery is at its peak, the hands go up again. "No Biggie.".....until...

"Whoa...this rides getting pretty intense. Let me just hold on for a second. I'll get my hands up again...I just need to catch my grip."

"Ok....we're getting a little too high and I'm not so sure about this anymore."

What HAVE I gotten myself into?!?

OK... this is not FUN ANYMOOORE!

I'M SERIOUS!!!! STOP THIS RIDE AND LET...ME...OFF...BEFORE...I...CRAP...MYSELF!!!!!
The worst part is over you say? Ok then, I think I can handle it from here.
Hey...this isn't so bad after all.

I SURVIVED! Yeah, let's do this again....right after I change my drawers, that is.

I'm back

I can't tell you how good I feel right now. I've been traveling for the last three weeks and am finally back at home. My first day back, I slept until 4:00 pm, if that is any indication of how exhausted I was. But now I feel recharged. I've had a couple of days to recoup and am getting back into the everyday life tasks around here. One of which includes my blogging. So, allow me to rejoin you. Right now, I am sitting on my overstuffed couch and tapping away at the keys on my laptop while I sip on my 2nd concoction of Starbucks Liqueur and 2%. And just to top off this nice atmosphere, let me tell you that Prince's new joints are currently tickling my eardrums (not his best work). Even so, I tell you; life is good right about now.

When I last posted here on my blog, I was off to Cincinnati to help some friends do a show. To make a long story short, one show turned into two which turned into an added trip to Phoenix to help out with reprinting most of their gear. Anyway, the second show was on the outskirts of Minneapolis, so you know I was on the verge of a major orgasm the whole time. For those of you who don't know, Prince lives in a small town outside of Minneapolis. Yeah, when we drove through his hometown, it took every ounce of self restriction to not drive straight to Paisley Park and plant myself there until my little obsession showed up. Had the family not been with me, I'm sure I would have at least driven by to take some pictures. Next year, for sure!

Anyway, I'm glad to be back home...but am a bit bummed that my work with them (GTWO) is over for now. My friends, the Jacksons, who I do all these shows with...they are good people. We share the same sense of humor, values and interests. They are just fun people to hang with and every time we get together, it's a blast. No matter if we're just hanging out to have some fun or if we're busting our tails working...it's all good. Needless to say, I wish that we could get together more often.

While I was away during these three weeks, my youngest son Keegan turned two. I honestly can't believe that he's two already. It just seems like yesterday when I was holding him in my arms in amazement that we had a 3rd boy. And while I enjoyed hanging out with my friends during these last three weeks, I honestly think the best part about being away was the fact that during one of those weeks, I slept with Keegan in my bed every night. Normally, he puts himself to sleep in his crib. But while we were in Phoenix, I laid down with him every night until he dozed off to sleep.

I don't know exactly how to explain the feelings that I got as I watched him fall asleep. He would inevitably fight it with all his strength until his eyes could no longer stay open. They would close and then re-open once he realized that they were closed....then they would close again for a longer lapse of time. Then followed the body twitches and his eyes would again re-open. Usually, the whole time he was falling asleep, he would say, "Mommy.......what doin?" And in time, that question would cease and he would slip off into his night's slumber.

I don't know...I think most parents who watch their children fall off to sleep know what I'm talking about. It's just a beautiful sight to see....not because you are exhausted or wanting them to get their much needed rest. There is just something about watching your child sleep that reaches inside of you and calls for your attention to their innocence and your responsibility as their parent. And I guess it's been a while since I've seen Keegan fall asleep like that. Now that he's two, I know that the opportunities to watch him doze off are getting fewer and fewer, which is why it really was the highlight of my time away. But that shouldn't be of any surprise. My boys are usually the highlight of my days whether I'm here at home or traveling across the country.

I am glad to be back home though. It feels good to sleep in my own bed once again.

Happenings

Since I don't want to let too much more time pass before I enter another post, here goes....

The boys (Jason & Dallas) and I will be boarding a flight tomorrow for Cincinnatti. We're meeting up with Robb & Marie to do a show. I have been promising them for about a year now that this summer, they could come to another one of the shows that they do. I'm not sure what other shows we will be able to make before the school year starts again, so this is really their only chance. Anyway, it should be a great way to spend 4th of July. It's a 3 day Christian Concert festival at Kings Island. We did this show last year and had a blast. It's always hard work, but a fun time. So that is how I will spend this year's 4th. Unfortunately, Kenny couldn't get the time off from work. So he'll stay back with Keegan and hang out here.

Baseball for Jason is finally over, at least until the Fall. They lost their last tournament game Saturday. It would be a stretch to say that it was a close game, but it really wasn't. Their team barely showed up to play. I think that they lost interest since the games were constantly being postponed due to rain. That combined with a lack of practice was just enough rust to put them on the losing end. So be it...I'm actually glad to have the rest of the summer free so that we can travel around for some much needed friend & family time. I just feel bad for the kids who really do love playing baseball. They very much wanted to win so that they could continue on in tournament play. I guess there is always next year.

Let's see...what else.....oh, I'm proud to say that I'm back in the gym and once again on my quest to lose the extra 25 pounds that I've been carrying around for about 3 years now. I've actually talked a friend and her husband into leaving their gym and joining the gym that Kenny and I go to so that I have a workout partner. It has seemed to help. Knowing that I am being held accountable for showing up does motivate me to get out of bed on time and get down there. Anyway, we've been at it for about 3 weeks now. Of course I haven't seen the scale move any. However, my body fat is down 1%. (I started at 33%, yes...33%.) So that's a good thing I suppose. And the fact that I can keep up for the most part makes me feel somewhat decent considering that I've got 9 years on my workout buddy. I actually appreciate the fact that she is in much better shape than I am. It gives me something to strive for. I don't like working out with people who don't push themselves at the gym...so it's a good thing that she's always a step ahead of me. I like the motivation to catch up to her and I imagine that with that attitude, eventually I will start to lose some weight and more body fat.

I guess that's about it. I think I'll check out for now and head off to watch one of my Netflix selections.